The Moose and the Goose



“Dr. Zoose!” said the moose

“Won’t you come out and play?”

“Come out and play? I can’t today,”

said Zoose to the moose,

“for I’m writing a book

about a moose and a goose

who are lost in a park in the dark.”

“Why are a moose and a goose

on the loose in a park in the dark?

That seems improbable

because mooses and gooses

seldom hob nobble,

or what I mean to say

is they have nothing in common.”

“Be that as it may

I will tell the story.

I hope it’s not boring.”


“There once was a goose,”

said Zoose, “who was clueless

because it had lost its flock,

and it saw a lonesome moose

at the edge of the woods

staring dumbly at a rock,

and the goose thought

‘Perhaps that big animal,

who is technically a mammal,

will not be overwrought

(mentally, that is)

if I ask its assistance

or just a helping hand

when I tell him I’m new here

and I’m full of fear,

and my sense of direction

has not attained perfection

unlike the other geese I meet

who know which way to go

even in blinding snow.’

So the goose flew to the rock

that the moose for some reason

was ramming with its head

as if it were trying

to crack it open,

or for some purpose

roll it over.

And the goose thought,

‘What if this moose

is as dumb as that boulder

and when I ask it for help

it turns a cold shoulder?’

But the goose was undaunted

and besides it was haunted

by the fear it would never find

the geese who’d left him behind.

‘Mr. Moose,’ said the goose,

‘I’m sorry to interrupt you

from such an important duty

as crashing your body

against this object

which seems to me

(correct me if I’m wrong)

unspeakably strong

and able to withstand

the most punishing blows

you can give it.’

‘Sir goose,’ said the moose

‘do you think me a twit,

a nitwit, a dimwit,

for bashing my